103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known by Kevin Kelly

  1. 99%的时间里,真正关键的时刻就是此刻。
  2. 除了你以外,没有人会真的记得你拥有什么东西。
  3. 一定不要为你不希望成为的人工作。
  4. 好好耕耘12个爱你的人的关系,因为这12个人远比1200万人喜欢你重要得多。
  5. 不要一直重复犯错;试着去犯新的错。
  6. 如果你在街上停下来聆听音乐人或街头艺人的表演一分钟,那么你欠他们一美元。
  7. “但是”之前的话都是废话。
  8. 当你原谅其他人的时候,他们不一定会知道这件事,但你自己却会被治愈。原谅不是我们给予他人的东西;而是我们给自己的礼物。
  9. 礼貌几乎没有成本。上完厕所之后,把马桶座放下。进电梯之前,让里面人先出来。把购物车推回到商场指定的位置。借了别人的东西,让它以比借到的时候更好的状态(比如把消耗了的材料装满,比如把东西清洁好)还回去。
  10. 无论什么时候,看到争论基于两个对立面进行时,要找到第三个面。
  11. “效率”被过度高估;“偷懒”被过度贬低。有规律地安排休息日、休假、度假、小憩、漫无目的地散步和暂停时间对任何一种高产出状态都至关重要。最佳职业伦理需要具备一个好的休闲伦理。
  12. 当你在领导时,你真正的任务是创造出更多领导者,而不是更多追随者。
  13. 私下批评,公开赞扬。
  14. 人生的课程将以它们需要的顺序出现在你面前。任何你需要掌握的课程其实都在你身上。当你真正掌握了一节课之后,下一节课就会出现。如果你还活着,这就意味着你还有课程需要学习。
  15. 学生的责任是从老师身上学会一切,老师的责任是从学生身上学会一切。
  16. 如果在一个游戏中,获胜变得过于重要,那么我们可以修改游戏规则以便从中获得更多乐趣。而修改规则本身就可以成为一个新的游戏。
  17. 当你跟投资人要钱的时候,他会给你建议;而如果你跟他要建议,他会给你钱。
  18. 生产力反而经常分散我们的注意力。不要试图寻找更快完成任务的方法,而是把精力放在你根本不想停下来的任务上。
  19. 及时支付你的欠款给卖主,员工,承包商。下一次你他们会第一时间跑来跟你合作。
  20. 我们对自己说的最大的谎言就是:“我不需要把这些写下来,我会记得的。”
  21. 你作为一个意识生物的成长,将以你愿意接受的令人不舒服的对话的次数来衡量。
  22. 自信地发言就像你是对的一样,仔细的聆听就像你是错的一样。
  23. 方便的测量方法:双手展开与肩膀平齐,此时从左手指尖到右手指尖的长度就是你的身高。
  24. 你的努力(锻炼、陪伴、工作)的一致性远比数量重要。没有什么可以击败每天坚持做的小事,这比偶然做的事情重要得多。
  25. 艺术创造并不自私;它是为我们其他人而作的。如果你不好好创作,你就是在欺骗我们。
  26. 永远不要问一位女士她是否怀孕了。等她自己告诉你。
  27. 你必须具备的三种能力: 在确认一件事情能运作之前永不言弃的能力,在确认一件事情无法工作下去时放弃他的能力,以及信任能帮助你区分二者的人。
  28. 公开演讲的时候,常作暂停。开始讲新内容的之前暂停一下,讲完你觉得重要的内容之后暂停一下,把暂停作为让听众吸收内容的缓冲。
  29. “准时”从不存在。你要嘛迟到要嘛早到。这是你的选择。
  30. 请教一位你崇拜的人: 他们的幸运转折往往来自于跟主要目标无关的弯路。所以拥抱这种弯路。对任何人来说,人生都不是一条直线。
  31. 在互联网上寻找正确答案的最佳实践是发布一个明显错误的答案,然后等待其他人纠正你。
  32. 奖励好行为比惩罚坏行为带来的结果要好上十倍,尤其对象是小孩和动物时。
  33. 要花跟写邮件正文一样的时间来雕琢邮件标题,因为很多时候邮件标题是人们唯一会读的东西。
  34. 不要等着暴风雨自己过去;要在雨中跳舞。
  35. 老板/雇主在查看求职者的推荐信时,一般不太愿意或者被禁止说出负面评价。这时候你可以留言说:“如果你觉得这位求职者很不错的话请通知我哦。”如果他们没有回复的话那就是负评价。
  36. 使用密码管理器: 更安全,更易用,更好。
  37. 教育的一半作用是学习哪些东西可以被忽略。
  38. 设定一个野心得荒谬的目标的好处是,上限足够高,这样即使最后失败了,以通常的标准来衡量也可以算某种程度上的成功。
  39. 了解自己的一个好办法是,仔细地分析自己做的会惹怒其他人的每一件事情。
  40. 住酒店的时候记得把所有的东西都放在可以看得到的地方,不要放进抽屉里,都堆在一个地方。这样你在离店的时候永远不会忘记任何东西。如果有些东西需要放在一边的,比如充电器,那你可以放多两件大的东西在它隔壁,因为相比起一件东西,你更不可能同时忘记拿三件。
  41. 拒绝或转移别人的赞美是不礼貌的。可以用感谢接受它,即使你相信你根本不值得这个赞美。
  42. 纪念碑旁的那块说明,必读。
  43. 当你获得某种成功的时候,你可能会有种自己的能力不配这个位置,自己是个骗子感觉。我在骗人吗?但如果你创造了某种只有你独特的天赋与经验才做得到的东西,那你就绝对不是一个骗子。你是注定要做这件事情的。做好只有你才能做的事情,这是你的责任所在。
  44. 你在低谷时做的事情比在好日子时做的更重要。
  45. 做对人有益的东西。
  46. 当你打开一罐油漆时,无论你有多么小心,你的衣服一定会沾上一点,即便只是很小一点。所以记得穿合适的衣服。
  47. 在汽车旅行的路上让小孩子乖乖听话的办法:捎一袋他们最喜欢的糖果,每次只要不乖就扔一把出去。
  48. 你无法让聪明的人只为了钱而特别努力地工作。
  49. 当你不知道应该为了某件工作给人支付多少费用的时候,你可以问他“你觉得给多少是合适的”,他们通常会给出合适的报价。
  50. 所有东西的90%都是垃圾。如果你觉得自己不喜欢歌剧,浪漫小说,抖音,乡村音乐,素食,NFTs,那你可以试试看自己能否找出不是垃圾的10%。
  51. 你如何对待那些对你无能为力的人,将成为评价你的标准。
  52. 我们向来高估了一天能做的事情,也低估了十年能达成的事情。只要给十年时间,奇迹也能达成。长期坚持能累计大量小成就,攻克大问题。
  53. 感谢改变了你人生的那位老师。
  54. 你无法说服一个人接受一个他自己也无法说服他自己的理念。
  55. 最好的工作是你需要努力跳起来都不一定够得着工作。其实最好只申请你的能力尚不匹配的工作。
  56. 购买二手书。它们和新书有一样的文字。图书馆的书也是。
  57. 你可以成为任何你想成为的人,所以让自己成为那个早点结束会议的人吧。
  58. 一个智者曾经说过,“在你开口之前,先让你的语言经过三道门的检验。第一道门是问你自己,‘这是真话吗?’第二道门是‘这是必要的吗?’第三道门是‘这是善的吗?’”
  59. 走楼梯。
  60. 你支付给某样东西的钱事实上是它标价的两倍,因为你还需要付出额外的能源,时间,和金钱来安装它,学习使用它,维护它,修复它,以及最后丢掉它。不是所有的价格都打在标签上。真正的付出是标价的两倍。
  61. 当你到达你酒店房间时,记得看一眼紧急出口在哪里。只需要一分钟。
  62. ”我现在该做什么?”的唯一有效回答是,先找出“我想成为什么人?”的答案。
  63. 在一段超过平均水平的时间里,一直保持平均水平的回报,也会产生超凡的结果。买入并一直持有。
  64. 对粗鲁的陌生人表现得特别礼貌是一件令人毛骨悚然的事情。
  65. 一个不太聪明但能很好沟通的人,是可以做得比很聪明但不善沟通的人更好的。这是一个好消息,因为提高你的沟通技巧要比提高智力容易得多。
  66. 偶尔被骗是信任所有人的一个很小的代价,因为当你以最大诚意信任其他人的时候,他们通常会给你最好的对待。
  67. 艺术是你无论如何都能超然避世的东西。
  68. 为了让你的孩子获得最好的成长,你应该只花你认为应该花的一半的钱给他们,但花两倍的时间陪他们。
  69. 购买你的家乡或所在区域的最新的旅游指南。你会在每年的旅游中学会很多。
  70. 不要排长队等着吃某样很有名的东西。因为几乎没有哪样出名的食物值得这份等待。
  71. 想要快速了解一个刚认识的人的真实性格,让他们使用一个超级慢的网络,然后观察他们。
  72. 达成世俗成功的良方:做点奇怪的事情。培养自己独特的奇怪的习惯。
  73. 要成为一个专家。记得备份你的备份。至少有一份物理备份与一份云端备份。每个备份不要少于一份。当你丢失了你的数据,照片,与笔记时,你愿意花多少钱把他们找回来呢?相比于后悔,备份一定是更便宜的选项。
  74. 不要相信你认为你相信的一切。
  75. 发出紧急信号请使用“三次法则”: 三次大喊,三次喇叭,或三次口哨。
  76. 你在一家餐馆里会点吃过的好吃的菜,还是尝试新的?你会做你知道有销路的东西,还是会尝试新的?你会一直跟新的人约会还是会尝试跟已经认识的人确立关系?最理想的探索新事物与找到了之后在其中深耕的平衡是: 1/3。用 1/3 的时间去探索,用 2/3 的时间去深耕。随着年龄的增长,花时间去探索新事物会越来越难,因为那看起来并不高效,但试着做到 1/3 吧。
  77. 真正的好机会不会在额头上大书“好机会”三个字。
  78. 在你被介绍给别人的时候,看着对方的眼睛,数到四。这样你们都会很好地记住对方。
  79. 在你思考“我的好刀在哪里?或者我的好笔在哪里?”时,记下来。这意味着你还有坏的刀或笔。把它们都丢掉吧。
  80. 当你在某件事情卡住了时候,试着给其他人描述你的问题。经常你只需要简单地把问题描述出来,答案就会自然呈现。把“描述这个问题”作为你解决问题的的一部分。
  81. 在购买一根花园水管,一根延长线,或者一把梯子的时候,选那个比你认为需要长度更长的。通常那个就是正确的尺寸。
  82. 不要和旧事物作斗争;直接建设新的。
  83. 你只需要向大家赞扬你的团队做得很好,他们就会做出远超预期的成就。
  84. 当一个人跟你提起人类历史的巅峰一年,那段时间所有的事情都极其美好,然后就开始走下坡路。这一年永远是他们10岁的时候──这也是人类个体的巅峰。
  85. 你跟那些惹怒你的事物一样大。
  86. 当你对着听众们演讲时,眼神注视某几个人比扫描全场更好。你的眼神会告诉在场的人,你是不是真的相信你所说的东西。
  87. 习惯远比灵感来得可靠。要为培养习惯而努力。不要关注身材变好的样子,要专注成为那个永不缺席训练的人。
  88. 当你跟别人谈判的时候,不要把目光瞄准蛋糕中最大的一片;要瞄准如何把蛋糕做大。
  89. 如果你重复今天你做的事情365天,那一年后你会成为你想成为的人吗?
  90. 你只能看到其他人的 2%,别人也只能看到你的 2%。所以调整好自己的 98%。
  91. 你的时间和空间都是有限的。移除,送人,或者直接丢掉那些在你的人生中不再带来幸福的东西,把时间与空间留给那些能带来幸福的。
  92. 我们的后代将创造令我们惊叹的成就,但其实只要我们有足够的想象力,他们会创造的部分东西,用今天的材料和工具就已经能实现了。所以,要想得更大一点。
  93. 为了丰厚的回报,请对你完全不感兴趣的事物保持好奇。
  94. 专注于方向而不是目的地。毕竟有谁能知道他的命运终点呢?但只要保持一个正确的方向,你终会到达你想到的地方。
  95. 所有的突破在一开始都是看起来很可笑和荒谬的。事实上如果它在一开始看起来不够可笑和荒谬的话,它也称不上是一种突破。
  96. 如果你借给别人 20 美元并且你再也见不到这个人了,因为他不想还钱,那么这 20 美元花得值。
  97. 重复别人是一个很好的开始。重复你自己则是一个令人失望的终点。
  98. 找工作跟别人商量薪酬的最佳时机是在他们说要请你了之后,而不是之前。从这时开始就变成了一场胆小鬼博弈,双方都等着对方先开口报价,但这时你的优势就是可以让对方先开出价码。
  99. 与其让你的人生规避“出人意料”,还不如直接瞄着它们而去。
  100. 如果你是用信用卡租的车,不要购买额外的保险。
  101. 如果你关于一个主题的意见可以根据你另一个主题的意见预测得出,那你可能陷入了某种意识形态的掌控。如果你认真审视你自己的意识,你的结论其实是无法预测的。
  102. 争取在死前破产。在你死掉之前,把你所有的财产交给你的受益人;这很有趣而且很有用。把所有的财产花光。你的最后一张支票应该支付给殡仪馆,它应该会被退回。
  103. 防止变老的最佳实践是保持惊讶。

 

  1. About 99% of the time, the right time is right now.
  2. No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are.
  3. Dont ever work for someone you dont want to become.
  4. Cultivate 12 people who love you, because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you.
  5. Dont keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes.
  6. If you stop to listen to a musician or street performer for more than a minute, you owe them a dollar.
  7. Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.
  8. When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.
  9. Courtesy costs nothing. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. When you borrow something, return it better shape (filled up, cleaned) than when you got it.
  10. Whenever there is an argument between two sides, find the third side.
  11. Efficiency is highly overrated; Goofing off is highly underrated. Regularly scheduled sabbaths, sabbaticals, vacations, breaks, aimless walks and time off are essential for top performance of any kind. The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.
  12. When you lead, your real job is to create more leaders, not more followers.
  13. Criticize in private, praise in public.
  14. Life lessons will be presented to you in the order they are needed. Everything you need to master the lesson is within you. Once you have truly learned a lesson, you will be presented with the next one. If you are alive, that means you still have lessons to learn.
  15. It is the duty of a student to get everything out of a teacher, and the duty of a teacher to get everything out of a student.
  16. If winning becomes too important in a game, change the rules to make it more fun. Changing rules can become the new game.
  17. Ask funders for money, and they’ll give you advice; but ask for advice and they’ll give you money.
  18. Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible, rather aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing.
  19. Immediately pay what you owe to vendors, workers, contractors. They will go out of their way to work with you first next time.
  20. The biggest lie we tell ourselves is “I dont need to write this down because I will remember it.”
  21. Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.
  22. Speak confidently as if you are right, but listen carefully as if you are wrong.
  23. Handy measure: the distance between your fingertips of your outstretched arms at shoulder level is your height.
  24. The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day, which is way more important than what you do occasionally.
  25. Making art is not selfish; it’s for the rest of us. If you don’t do your thing, you are cheating us.
  26. Never ask a woman if she is pregnant. Let her tell you if she is.
  27. Three things you need: The ability to not give up something till it works, the ability to give up something that does not work, and the trust in other people to help you distinguish between the two.
  28. When public speaking, pause frequently. Pause before you say something in a new way, pause after you have said something you believe is important, and pause as a relief to let listeners absorb details.
  29. There is no such thing as being “on time.” You are either late or you are early. Your choice.
  30.  Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.
  31. The best way to get a correct answer on the internet is to post an obviously wrong answer and wait for someone to correct you.
  32. You’ll get 10x better results by elevating good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior, especially in children and animals.
  33. Spend as much time crafting the subject line of an email as the message itself because the subject line is often the only thing people read.
  34. Don’t wait for the storm to pass; dance in the rain.
  35. When checking references for a job applicant, employers may be reluctant or prohibited from saying anything negative, so leave or send a message that says, “Get back to me if you highly recommend this applicant as super great.” If they don’t reply take that as a negative.
  36. Use a password manager: Safer, easier, better.
  37. Half the skill of being educated is learning what you can ignore.
  38. The advantage of a ridiculously ambitious goal is that it sets the bar very high so even in failure it may be a success measured by the ordinary.
  39. A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.
  40. Keep all your things visible in a hotel room, not in drawers, and all gathered into one spot. That way you’ll never leave anything behind. If you need to have something like a charger off to the side, place a couple of other large items next to it, because you are less likely to leave 3 items behind than just one.
  41. Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks, even if you believe it is not deserved.
  42. Always read the plaque next to the monument.
  43. When you have some success, the feeling of being an imposter can be real. Who am I fooling? But when you create things that only you — with your unique talents and experience — can do, then you are absolutely not an imposter. You are the ordained. It is your duty to work on things that only you can do.
  44. What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days.
  45. Make stuff that is good for people to have.
  46. When you open paint, even a tiny bit, it will always find its way to your clothes no matter how careful you are. Dress accordingly.
  47. To keep young kids behaving on a car road trip, have a bag of their favorite candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave.
  48. You cannot get smart people to work extremely hard just for money.
  49. When you don’t know how much to pay someone for a particular task, ask them “what would be fair” and their answer usually is.
  50. 90% of everything is crap. If you think you don’t like opera, romance novels, TikTok, country music, vegan food, NFTs, keep trying to see if you can find the 10% that is not crap.
  51. You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.
  52. We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it ten years. A long game will compound small gains to overcome even big mistakes.
  53. Thank a teacher who changed your life.
  54. You cant reason someone out of a notion that they didn’t reason themselves into.
  55. Your best job will be one that you were unqualified for because it stretches you. In fact only apply to jobs you are unqualified for.
  56. Buy used books. They have the same words as the new ones. Also libraries.
  57. You can be whatever you want, so be the person who ends meetings early.
  58. A wise man said, “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”
  59. Take the stairs.
  60. What you actually pay for something is at least twice the listed price because of the energy, time, money needed to set it up, learn, maintain, repair, and dispose of at the end. Not all prices appear on labels. Actual costs are 2x listed prices.
  61. When you arrive at your room in a hotel, locate the emergency exits. It only takes a minute.
  62. The only productive way to answer “what should I do now?” is to first tackle the question of “who should I become?”
  63. Average returns sustained over an above-average period of time yield extraordinary results. Buy and hold.
  64. It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers.
  65. It’s possible that a not-so smart person, who can communicate well, can do much better than a super smart person who can’t communicate well. That is good news because it is much easier to improve your communication skills than your intelligence.
  66. Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone, because when you trust the best in others, they generally treat you best.
  67. Art is whatever you can get away with.
  68. For the best results with your children, spend only half the money you think you should, but double the time with them.
  69. Purchase the most recent tourist guidebook to your home town or region. You’ll learn a lot by playing the tourist once a year.
  70. Dont wait in line to eat something famous. It is rarely worth the wait.
  71. To rapidly reveal the true character of a person you just met, move them onto an abysmally slow internet connection. Observe.
  72. Prescription for popular success: do something strange. Make a habit of your weird.
  73. Be a pro. Back up your back up. Have at least one physical backup and one backup in the cloud. Have more than one of each. How much would you pay to retrieve all your data, photos, notes, if you lost them? Backups are cheap compared to regrets.
  74. Dont believe everything you think you believe.
  75. To signal an emergency, use the rule of three; 3 shouts, 3 horn blasts, or 3 whistles.
  76.  At a restaurant do you order what you know is great, or do you try something new? Do you make what you know will sell or try something new? Do you keep dating new folks or try to commit to someone you already met? The optimal balance for exploring new things vs exploiting them once found is: 1/3. Spend 1/3 of your time on exploring and 2/3 time on deepening. It is harder to devote time to exploring as you age because it seems unproductive, but aim for 1/3.
  77. Actual great opportunities do not have “Great Opportunities” in the subject line.
  78. When introduced to someone make eye contact and count to 4. You’ll both remember each other.
  79. Take note if you find yourself wondering “Where is my good knife? Or, where is my good pen?” That means you have bad ones. Get rid of those.
  80. When you are stuck, explain your problem to others. Often simply laying out a problem will present a solution. Make “explaining the problem” part of your troubleshooting process.
  81. When buying a garden hose, an extension cord, or a ladder, get one substantially longer than you think you need. It’ll be the right size.
  82. Dont bother fighting the old; just build the new.
  83. Your group can achieve great things way beyond your means simply by showing people that they are appreciated.
  84. When someone tells you about the peak year of human history, the period of time when things were good before things went downhill, it will always be the years of when they were 10 years old — which is the peak of any human’s existence.
  85. You are as big as the things that make you angry.
  86. When speaking to an audience it’s better to fix your gaze on a few people than to “spray” your gaze across the room. Your eyes telegraph to others whether you really believe what you are saying.
  87. Habit is far more dependable than inspiration. Make progress by making habits. Dont focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout.
  88. When negotiating, dont aim for a bigger piece of the pie; aim to create a bigger pie.
  89. If you repeated what you did today 365 more times will you be where you want to be next year?
  90. You see only 2% of another person, and they see only 2% of you. Attune yourselves to the hidden 98%.
  91. Your time and space are limited. Remove, give away, throw out things in your life that dont spark joy any longer in order to make room for those that do.
  92. Our descendants will achieve things that will amaze us, yet a portion of what they will create could have been made with today’s materials and tools if we had had the imagination. Think bigger.
  93. For a great payoff be especially curious about the things you are not interested in.
  94. Focus on directions rather than destinations. Who knows their destiny? But maintain the right direction and you’ll arrive at where you want to go.
  95. Every breakthrough is at first laughable and ridiculous. In fact if it did not start out laughable and ridiculous, it is not a breakthrough.
  96. If you loan someone $20 and you never see them again because they are avoiding paying you back, that makes it worth $20.
  97. Copying others is a good way to start. Copying yourself is a disappointing way to end.
  98. The best time to negotiate your salary for a new job is the moment AFTER they say they want you, and not before. Then it becomes a game of chicken for each side to name an amount first, but it is to your advantage to get them to give a number before you do.
  99. Rather than steering your life to avoid surprises, aim directly for them.
  100. Dont purchase extra insurance if you are renting a car with a credit card.
  101. If your opinions on one subject can be predicted from your opinions on another, you may be in the grip of an ideology. When you truly think for yourself your conclusions will not be predictable.
  102. Aim to die broke. Give to your beneficiaries before you die; it’s more fun and useful. Spend it all. Your last check should go to the funeral home and it should bounce.
  103. The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.

文章更新于 2022年6月27日

发表回复

您的电子邮箱地址不会被公开。 必填项已用 * 标注